As in all cultures, marriage is an important rite of passage for Amish young men and women. Getting married symbolizes the start of a new family and a commitment to the Amish religion and lifestyle. Amish wedding customs are simple, but meaningful, and the celebration is important to the family and community.
Preparing for an Amish Wedding
Amish marriage ceremonies typically occur in the bride's family home. Fathers and brothers work hard to make sure the house is in good repair. Mothers and sisters cook, clean and garden in preparation of the wedding feast. Invitations are hand-written and delivered throughout the community.
Amish weddings take place in the month of November, after the year's crops have been harvested and before the cold winter weather gets too harsh. Weddings are often held on Tuesdays or Thursdays. This allows for a full day to set up and a full day to clean up after the wedding takes place.
Amish brides or their mothers sew the wedding dress which is very simple and dark in color, often blue or purple. The brides' attendants will wear dresses in matching colors. The groom wears dark suit and tie with a white shirt. His two attendants will dress similarly. Unmarried Amish men stay clean shaven until they start their own household.
Amish Wedding Ceremony
Generally, the bride and groom and their families greet guests as they arrive. Men are seated on benches at one side of the room and women on the other. Hymns are sung and ministers offer counsel to the young couple and their guests.
At the end of the sermon, the minister brings the bridal couple before the congregation. The bride and groom hold hands and repeat their vows. Since the Amish wear no jewelry, wedding rings are not exchanged.
Amish Wedding FeastOnce the ceremony is over, the celebrating begins. Benches are moved to make room for a feast. The bride and groom and their families eat first, sitting in a special corner of the room called an Eck. Home-cooked food is delicious and plentiful. A typical menu might feature roast chicken, mashed potatoes, yeast rolls and cooked celery. Hand-decorated wedding cake, pie, cookies and ice cream are served afterward.
After the feast has been cleared away wedding guests will typically sing, play games, and visit. A few simple gifts may be given to the happy couple. These are generally simple and practical - farm tools, handmade quilts, canned food.
Following the wedding supper, an Amish bride will excuse herself and exchange her black bonnet for a white cap. This headgear identifies her as a married woman. Then she steps over a broom handle which has been placed on the floor to signify her transition from maiden to homemaker.
Later in the day, a second meal is served. Casseroles, vegetables, cole slaw, cakes and cookies are typically on the menu. Hymns and scripture-reading are a part of the evening's festivities.
Amish Newlyweds
Amish couples do not go on honeymoon trips. Usually their wedding night is spent at the home of the bride's parents. They spend the next day helping with farm chores and cleaning up the remains of the wedding feast.
Each weekend over the winter months, Amish newlyweds visit relatives. During these visits they will receive more gifts such as handmade furniture, cookware and appliances to establish their new home. In the springtime, newlyweds will move out of the bride's family home and set up a household of their own.
Marriage is the most important step in an Amish life. Since divorce is not an option, marriage is a solemn occasion. Traditions are festive, yet simple and the whole community is invested in helping the young couple succeed in a new life together.
Sources:
- www.theamishquilt.com
- An Amish Wedding by Richard Ammon and Pamela Patrick (Antheneum Books, 1998)
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